This blog for day one of #IWill Week from an #IWill Ambassador is all about navigating trauma, unrest and division, especially in the context of social media.
In this blog I am exploring Day 1’s theme of #IWillWeek which is; “#StillWeRise: Finding the balance – Navigating trauma, unrest and division especially in the context of social media”
In the current social climate, we are living in a more progressive land, what with taboos being overcome easier and acceptance being stronger in some walks of life. Yet, mental health, the thing we all have is often seen as a buzz word and nothing more. Whilst in the current landscape, metal heath is often talked about, it is consistently being let down by the way we put it into practice. Us, of the digital age are villainised for the unrealistic standards in social media, yet it is generations above us posting unrealistic standards for us to see and meet on a daily basis, and them who are ignoring the current mental health crisis we live in.
As someone who has PTSD it is important to acknowledge that trauma affects you no matter what environment, and can be “stupid things” that affect you the most. Perhaps you are able to speak in front of hundreds of people but struggle to have a one-on-one conversation when dealing with trauma. PTSD is not one specific feeling, it can feel angry, anxious, exhausted, emotional and every emotion in between making it often difficult to understand. So when you tell someone that you suffer with PTSD, their reaction is typically related to flashbacks, which are extremely prominent but it often becomes difficult to explain that your PTSD is the reason why you don’t text back or struggle to learn the same way everyone else does. Separating your identity from your trauma can be difficult as you feel that any unique thing about yourself is only there because of your trauma. My hard-working attitude, my inability to accept praise, my extreme emotional behaviour is all an effect of my PTSD. This often makes it challenging to have a sense of self as you are constantly facing this blanket that you have to disguise. However, my PTSD is what makes me as a person. Without it I would not be as forward thinking, as independent or as organised as I am.
When you have a mental health condition you often have the inability to enjoy any aspect of life and it can be difficult to even notice, let alone stop the cycle. Partaking in any aspect of life which you used to find enjoyment in may cause you to have panic attacks, resulting in you (rightfully) resting but then feeling guilty for resting. You almost have this dual-mindset and would struggle to jump between the two. One mind saying that you should just “man-up” and go to things you enjoy and the other mind where you don’t see the point in anything anymore.
Social media often brands mental health as an aesthetic and believes that if you just go on walks or have a bath that you will be better. However, when you are unable to get out of bed some days, it can be difficult to see yourself doing anything that would be considered productive. This “romanticisation” of mental health on social media can be so damaging without you even knowing it, making you feel more alone. Asking yourself, why can’t I just get out of my bed? When realistically the deep-rooted cause of this mental health epidemic is down to the lack of mental health services in Scotland. Year long waiting lists have become the norm for many and the lack of support in school is something as an MSYP we hear too often. Social media will not solve this issue, government intervention has to be called on, however social media does act as a catalyst allowing the mental health episodes to happen for longer and more consistent amounts of time.
The effects of social media on my mental health are clearer now that I am out of the cycle. We have all heard the term “doom-scrolling” and are all guilty of it. Watching as the lives of prettier, cooler, better people out there progress and you are sat where you’ve always been, never noticing your progress. Whilst progress is not a steady slope and can be hard to measure, you have made progress at one point in your life. Whether it was fighting a cold, learning a new skill or achieving something, you have made progress. Others progress is possibly more measurable but that does not indicate that it is better or worse. Whilst they post their highlights of their life, a lot of the time they are sitting in their bed looking at all the other things they could be doing. Just like I was. And just like you probably have.
The Scottish activism community on social media is extremely positive but can verge into, “toxic-positivity” something that I am guilty of. The posts saying “You are not alone” which are sandwiched between the “Look how much I have done in comparison to you” posts. One of my teachers put it well, and she said, “If you met someone who had the same experience as you, would you be blaming them for not doing everything that she wants to”. If you have one take-away from this blog, it is to try to imagine someone who’s possibly completely aesthetically opposite to you but has the exact same set of circumstances and think, would I blame them for asking for help? No. So why would I blame myself?
Written by an #IWill ambassador.